I read this quote and a deep "YES" resonated through me. True enough, life has been far, far, far from perfect in the past year or so. Illness, relationships crumbling and mending and crumbling some more, career shifts and losses, instability, fear, pain and confusion...but, of course, that is exactly the Buddha's point as far as I can tell. Celebrate the imperfect because, indeed, that is all life is.
I have started this new blog because, though I still have a deep love for my old one and the evolution I was undergoing there...things are changing for me and I need a fresh space to expand in a bit. The title, Migration Summer, is the name of my book manuscript...that same one I finished and hid away in my desk drawer many times only to now have an agent asking to read it exclusively, which has prompted not quite delight in me, but a strange sort of paralysis. Rather than ramble, let me try to give a quick run-down of where I've been:
- Started a new career teaching English/Language Arts--leaving behind my comfortable adjunct college post to get back to where I always said I wanted to be...high school.
- Got into my job and found out that I was actually working with *only* at-risk "chronic repeaters" who hated school, hated reading and hated teachers.
- They love me now...however, I am leaving this job already anyway. I feel like I've failed--like I am abandoning them, but after running myself completely into the ground, working from 4am-6am before school...6am-3pm during school...then from 4:30pm-10:30pm only to break for dinner trying to plan for them, grade their work, find the ways to connect their troubled lives to literature from an anthology I didn't get to choose and a curriculum I was FORCED to follow...I have had to say, no I cannot teach them like this.
- The best part of the teaching experience was getting them to do creative writing, which I sandwiched in by devoting Monday-Thursday to work through curriculum and Fridays to live as a working writing community. My students, I can honestly say, LIVE for Fridays.
- I have been in turmoil in my personal life.
- I haven't been writing much at all...though I have had some positive "writing career" developments.
- But, I am still smiling because I have three beautiful children, unwavering support from family and a circle of creative and inspiring friends, my journals, never-ending mugs of tea and an open heart.
I took some space and distance from the blogging "community" only to miss it once the dust settled. For reasons still mysterious and unknown to me, blogging keeps me closer to the thread of words...forces me to slow down and notice my surroundings...inspires me to take photos to show others what it looks like where I am standing. So I return to the online world like a slim bird of the air, migrating back to my center once more...
11 comments:
i love your new space here and i miss you like crazy also. come visit me. xo
Delia,
I like the word migration. I looked it up to make sure I understood the meaning.
Moving from one place to another. It is a brillant word. I love words. They are part of what keeps me blogging. I don't feel the same about blogging as I once did. Not better or worse, just different. So much of life is like that for me right now. Not better or worse than anything else, just different.
I understand the need to have a new home.
It makes sense.
I do love hearing about your life. There are certain women bloggers I have gotten to know over the years whose lives I am endlessly curious about. You are one of those women. I am always here to listen.
Glad to be welcomed to your new home.
Joy to you!
XO,
Melba
welcome to your new beautiful home, beautiful because it is filled with you ...
... i used to teach a very similar high school english class. it was a beautiful heartbreaking experience where i came to care so much for those boys but the system caused me such pain. maybe someday i will go back to teaching but i suspect it will be in a different capacity. sigh.
i missed you hon, its nice to see you back here. warm hugs as i raise my morning tea mug to you.
i'm so, so happy to be here in your warm and beautiful new home with you right now, delia, and to have the chance to catch up. i've missed you. my heart goes out to you for all the tough experiences you've had on your plate this last months but it warms to know that you are still smiling your broad and beautiful smile and feeling closer to centre.
love and welcoming wishes,
Vx
yes, life is imperfect but what makes it beautiful is that we can share those imperfections with others, so that they too will realize that we are all in this together. thanks for being brave, and for sharing. i'm so glad to hear from you again. i/we missed you.
btw, your new site looks lovely. cheers!
So nice to pick up the thread of our conversations...I am glad to be back to share some space again...thanks to all of you for reading and commenting.
Love,
D.
Sigh...gosh I've missed you. I am a very "visual" person so I don't read too many writing blogs but you always, ALWAYS create such amazing pictures in my head with your words.
I am so glad you are back.
it's moments like this, when reading your honest words that i wish so much that there was not a screen that i was with, but you.. in person, where we could share our worlds, thoughts, feelings...but until that day i am so glad you are here, where you need to be.
much love.
welcome home.
I understand how you felt. I have taken a few "breaks" that I needed to take. And now I am not so bound to read or write blog. But I also see how it matters to me. So many of you matter so much to me, it is crazy! So I greatful.
I am happy you came back, however you decide to do it. i missed your beautiful words.
:)
i am happy to see this new place... although i'm so behind in finding it. ;-D
i think that blogging is like teaching, it forces you to recognize beauty and then portray it in a way that can be immediately recognized. my best writing won't be found on my blog, but the experience of community and being heard will be.
i'm happy to hear though that in the wake of such profound desolutions that you have awakened hope and love within yourself, opening up to joy. that is a good good thing my friend.
xoxo
I'm thankful for facebook, because I finally found your new blog :-D (I'd emailed you, but I guess it took me too long or something...).
I cannot imagine how exhaustingly hard this high school job must have been, phew! I get tired just reading your post. But I'm sure you did something ineffable for those kids and they won't easily forget you (hopefully).
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